Be a Man

Rated: Not Rated

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         When you say the word “man” what comes to mind? Is it someone who knows how to fix and work on cars? Or someone who is handy around the house, fixing whatever breaks? Or someone who could build a bookcase or chair? Or maybe it’s someone who watches and plays sports. Whatever the definition of what a “man” is to you is a very subjective thing. It has to do with the way you were brought up and what people made an impression on you throughout the years. Be it your own father or grandfather, an uncle, a neighbor, or a character from a movie, your definition of what it means to be a man has many sources and is unique to your situation.

 
         Comedian Ray Harrington has asked himself what it means to be a man numerous times throughout his life. Raised by his mother in his grandmother’s home, Ray didn’t have any significant male influences growing up in a house full of women. So in 2014, when his wife came home and told Ray she was pregnant, he began reflecting on his childhood. In his mind the question of what it takes to be a man kept coming up. Knowing that he had to channel his worries and anxieties about the upcoming birth of his first child into something creative, Ray and close friend Derek Furtado decided it’d be best to make a documentary. The result is the film Be a Man.

Ray Harrington and Derek Furtado during filming of Be a Man (Photo courtesy Ray Harrington)

 
         The film follows Ray on his journey of discovery as he muddles his way through five of the things he thinks make a man a man. I spoke to Ray after seeing the film and asked how he narrowed the film down to fighting, cars, drinking (or having a favorite drink), grooming and facing a group of women to see if he’s what they’d consider  “a man”. He said, “When we were planning the film and the topics we would cover, we had talked about a lot of different things. Hunting, Survival, Guns, Defense, Home Repair, etc. But ultimately, I wanted to focus on the core things that were much more personally meaningful. Everything we covered came from the idea of what a man was to me when I was a child. [The film] was my way of confronting that childhood ideal as an adult. It wasn't about everyone's idea of a Man, but MY idea of a Man.”
 
         I then asked Ray if doing any of the things he did in the film made him feel more manly. He replied, “Ironically I think the most manly thing I did for the film was the film itself. It was the process that was the biggest undertaking, having a goal and no matter the odds, finishing it.”

Ray Harrington in the ring with Vinny Pazienza during filming of Be a Man (Phot courtesy Ray Harrington)

 
        When asked if he’s continued with any of the things he did in the film, Ray said, “I'm happy never getting in a boxing ring ever again. Though I have been much more aware of my clothing, and while I haven't picked up using a straight razor, I've been really enjoying a regular trip to the barber shop since the film. Other than that, I think I have a much better sense of who I am, and that who I am is perfectly fine. The experience was very therapeutic that way.”
 
         But this film hasn’t been therapeutic for Ray alone. He told me that after many of the screenings they’ve done, people come up to him and tell him how connected they feel because they had the same experiences growing up. And that the film gives them a sense of comfort because they’re not alone in these experiences. According to Ray, “I think that's such a rare feeling to have. To connect with people and feel really, genuinely good after watching a film. I think there's a serious question about masculinity and modern culture in the film for sure, but it's there when you want to visit that. But to see a movie and laugh, not just with your gut, but your heart? That's something really special that I hope we've been able to get even a little close to.”
 
        To that I say, no worries Ray! This film is something special. It’s a hilarious, honest, entertaining and heartfelt look at not only what it takes to be a man, but what it takes to be an adult and ultimately a parent. I’m not sure I’ve ever laughed so much watching a documentary!  No matter your upbringing, no matter your gender, Be a Man should be at the top of your “must see” list!

               Be a Man is not rated, was written and directed by Ray Harrington and stars Ray Harrington, Derek Furtado, John Porch, Andrew Williams and many other comedians and stars. It has won Best Documentary at 2015 SNOB Fest and 2015 L.A. Comedy Festival. To see the trailer you can go to Vimeo. To buy a copy of the film (including signed copies) head here.
For more information about the film go here.